If the Force is with you, your keys will never be stolen. Or you may never find them again, even though you are sure you left them on this handy rack.

Please forgive the poor painting job.

I left the back flat to use Command Strips to attach to the wall. Alternatively, by gluing magnets on the back, this can be used on a refrigerator.

If you want a different clever phrase, I've attached the OpenSCAD file.